DITCH THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

Ditch the Resolution

Because We Don’t Change by Will Power or Resolve

Today I want to offer you an invitation to Ditch the New Year’s Resolution

This year, I’m ditching the New Year’s Resolution. Many of you are way ahead of me and have already ditched it. Research shows that more and more people are abandoning the idea of a New Year’s Resolution. I believe people are abandoning resolutions because we recognize that we often struggle with resolve. Have you noticed this about yourself? Have you ever had success with a New Year’s resolution before?

While there are always exceptions, we generally lack strong resolve. Have you ever noticed how quickly our determination fades? We often struggle to keep our resolutions. Deep down, we understand that true change doesn’t stem from mere resolve; it has to come from within.

A resolution is a firm decision to either undertake or avoid a specific action. These resolutions often consist of highly specific, personal goals with a narrow focus. Typically, they are short-term and quite rigid.

For example, I make a resolution, “In 2025, I’m going to lose 40 pounds.” But even as I say it, I know deep down it requires more than just a resolution. Achieving this goal demands motivation and internal drive. It will require motivation and an internal drive to make it happen.

I also know that sometime around January 2nd, I’ll inevitably see how shallow my resolve really is. My wife Krista will send me on a simple errand to grab the proverbial bread and milk. A very straightforward task. Yet, somehow, I’ll return with not only bread and milk, but also milk chocolate, bread pastries, and even potato chips. How did I end up in the chip aisle?

Chances are, I’ll buy whatever catches my eye in the moment. So much for being resolved to lose weight. Internal desire trumps resolve every time, and without fail, my desires cause my determination to quickly fade.

Why we fail in our spiritual lives:

I believe this is why we often falter in our spiritual lives as well. Our spiritual failures aren’t due to bad theology, a lack of biblical information, or because we are missing a piece of religious knowledge. Rather, we fail to follow God because we don’t have an intentional plan for an abiding friendship with Him. Consider this: do you have a deliberate plan for cultivating an enduring friendship with God this year?

Just like when we go to the store for milk and bread, our will is not singular. Our intentions quickly fragment into a multitude of desires. Although we start with resolve in our hearts and determination in our minds, our will quickly splinters and succumbs to immediate wants.

We need more than New Year’s Resolutions. What we truly need is a holistic, all-encompassing rhythm of life. This rhythm should integrate every aspect of our existence:

Spiritual

Physical

Emotional

Relational

Instinctual

Social

It should be ongoing, adaptable to our complexities, and refreshed annually or as needed. What we need is a lifelong rhythm that guides our soul through life and aligns us with God. This rhythm must be flexible and adaptable to our ever-changing circumstances. Historically, in Christianity, this rhythm is called a “Regula Vitae” or a rule of life.

The Ancient Tradition of A Regula Vitae

What is a rule of life?

Let me take a moment to introduce you to the concept of a rule of life. I know the word “rule” might not be our favorite, but bear with me. In this context, “rule” doesn’t refer to regulations or restrictions. Instead, it refers to a “regula”, a Latin term meaning a rule or norm. A regula was a measuring stick, like a ruler.

A regula vitae, or rule of life, serves as a measuring stick, creating a normative standard for how we will live our life. Our rule of life sets the standard for our Christian life. Creating a rule of life sets a standard by which we measure our lives. We all need a measuring stick or a ruler to gauge our lives by. The rule of life is that ruler.

Let me show you in the Sacred Text the truth behind the idea that a rule can bring us life:

Deuteronomy 4:1-14

          1      “Now, O Israel, listen to the statutes and the judgments which I am teaching you to perform, so that you may live and go in and take possession of the land which the LORD, the God of your fathers, is giving you. “You shall not add to the word which I am commanding you, nor take away from it, that you may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. “Your eyes have seen what the LORD has done in the case of Baal-peor, for all the men who followed Baal-peor, the LORD your God has destroyed them from among you.  “But you who held fast to the LORD your God are alive today, every one of you.  “See, I have taught you statutes and judgments just as the LORD my God commanded me, that you should do thus in the land where you are entering to possess it.  “So keep and do them, for that is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all these statutes and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’   “For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as is the LORD our God whenever we call on Him?  “Or what great nation is there that has statutes and judgments as righteous as this whole law which I am setting before you today? Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart all the days of your life; but make them known to your sons and your grandsons.   “Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, ‘Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.’  “You came near and stood at the foot of the mountain, and the mountain burned with fire to the very heart of the heavens: darkness, cloud and thick gloom.   “Then the LORD spoke to you from the midst of the fire; you heard the sound of words, but you saw no form—only a voice.    “So He declared to you His covenant which He commanded you to perform, that is, the Ten Commandments; and He wrote them on two tablets of stone.   “The LORD commanded me at that time to teach you statutes and judgments, that you might perform them in the land where you are going over to possess it. 

New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Dt 4:1–14.

What We Gather from Searching This Text

Let’s consider the lessons we can draw from this text. What wisdom does scripture offer us for our lives today?

1. Keep the Rule so that You May Live

A close reading reveals that Moses is imparting a rule of life to the Israelites. He says, “I’m going to pass this rule on to you. I will teach it to you so that you will follow it.” He makes it clear that obedience to these rules of life will bring you life. Keeping these “rules” are means of grace that bring life. What will be your rule for life? Or said another way, How will you interact with God’s grace to find life?

2. Hold Fast to the Lord and Live

We also learn that keeping the “rule” is meant to assist us in holding fast to the Lord.

Moses says, “those who held fast to the Lord, they were the ones who found life”. What rule will you take on this year? How will it help you hold fast to God so that you can find life?

3. The Ancient Wisdom of Keeping These Rules

Moses is issuing a call to wisdom here. Living according to this rule of life is wise and living contrary to this rule is absolute foolishness. Keeping these rules is a form of ancient wisdom for your life. So how will you apply this wisdom to your life?

4. The People Around You Will Say, “Wow! It must be awesome to live life so closely connected to God!”

The way you live your life in front of others reveals your relationship with God. By living according to a Godly rule of life, people will observe:

How you maintain your love for God

How your life positively impacts the world

How you care for your soul

They will see your actions, wisdom, and way of life, and they will be drawn to God through your example. Your daily conduct, guided by a rule of life, demonstrates your commitment. When you live out a rule of life, you declare to those around you, “This is what I’m all about!”

How will you live out your relationship with God in the view of others this year?

The Rule of Life According to Moses

Moses presents the Israelites with the Ten Commandments as a rule of life. These commandments are an intentional plan for fostering an abiding friendship with God and living peacefully with others. They are designed to establish a life-giving and sustaining rhythm of existence. The Ten Commandments embody a consistent and thoughtful approach to living, one that requires our commitment regardless of circumstances.

Examples of A Simple Rule of Life

Before We Consider Crafting Our Own Rule of Life, Let’s Consider a Few Historic Examples.

St Benedict

St. Benedict is considered the father of Western Monasticism. Benedict was an Italian hermit who lived in the 5th and 6th centuries and created a rule of life for his community, which he wrote down. His rule of life emphasized a simple, balanced life of prayer and work. It was designed for peaceful community living and assisting others in living Christlike lives.

Specifically, his rule focused on living with humility. He encouraged setting aside our needs for the needs of others, rising early to spend time with one another and with God, and to recognize that all people bear the image of God, so be gentle with others.

Benedict’s rule demonstrates that there is no distinction between our spiritual life and our daily life; the two are one. So we are to live out our rule of life in community, loving God and others daily.

The Simple Method (or Rule) of John Wesley

John Wesley, an Anglican priest and the founder of the Methodist movement, is another historic figure who established a rule of life. Wesley’s simple yet profound method for living included three core principles:

Do no harm: Avoid behaviors and actions that could cause harm to yourself or others.

Do all the good you can: Actively seek opportunities to do good in every aspect of life, whether through small acts of kindness or larger efforts to help those in need.

Stay in love with God: Maintain a close and loving relationship with God through regular prayer, worship, and spiritual practices. Methodists today continue to use this rule to guide their daily lives, striving to live Christlike lives by embodying these principles. Wesley’s rule of life provides a practical framework that helps individuals navigate their spiritual journey, ensuring their actions reflect their faith and commitment to God.

Crafting Your Own Rule of Life

Let’s Get Practical

Now, let’s create our own rule of life. Before we dive into the details, let me emphasize that creating a rule of life is not the practice of making a list of things you should do just because you’re a good Christian. Instead, it’s about crafting an individual rhythm for your life that allows you to live out your faith in God daily. As you prepare to craft your rule of life consider these three important areas of life that your rule might address:

1. Your Relationship with God
   • How important is your relationship with God?
   • What is the current status of your relationship with God?
   • What are you truly seeking as you consider your current relationship with God?
2. Your Relationship with Others
   • Which relationships need your attention right now?
   • What can you do to strengthen your relationships?
   • What relationships need reconciliation or more effort?
3. Your Relationship with Yourself
   • What needs do you have that are not being met right now?
   • How is your physical health?
   • What aspects of life are wearing you down?

Create Your Own Rule of Life

We will create our rule of life by answering three important questions with statements of intention. Here are the questions:

1. How do you intend to hold fast to God?
2. How will your life make a difference in your world?
3. How will you attend to your soul care?

Let’s consider the questions and create our rule of life.

1. How do you intend to hold fast to God?

What do you desire or seek in your relationship with God?

Create a rule of life for yourself here:

• Perhaps this rule is about your prayer life
• Maybe it’s about communion, baptism, or committing to membership in a congregation
• It could be about spending times of silence in the presence of God
• Or how you interact with scripture
• Maybe it’s about your regular attendance in corporate worship
• Or your regular times of personal worship

But answer this question: How do you intend to hold fast to God?

Answer it with a statement of intention, whether it’s about prayer, worship, or practicing God’s presence. How do you intend to hold fast to God?

For example: Pray Constantly

2. How will your life make a difference in your world?

• This is an opportunity for significant change if you’re willing to commit to the Kingdom of God. This could involve making a difference in your family, community, church, or even a global impact. Essentially, you are shifting your focus from “How can I get my way?” to “What good can I bring about in my world?” How will you allow the Holy Spirit to work through you? How will you act justly and love mercy? How will you show compassion?

Consider these possibilities as they pertain to your rule of life:

• Forgiveness: Is there someone you need to forgive?
• Hospitality: How can you practice hospitality in your daily life?
• Acceptance: How can you accept others, especially those who are different from you?
• Sharing Faith: How will you share your faith with family or friends?
• Resources: What resources can you make available to the Kingdom of God?
• Volunteering: How can you contribute through volunteer hours?
• Giving: Could you increase your offering? Could you begin to tithe?

Answer the question: How will your life make a difference in your world? Respond with a statement of intention.

For example: Live Generously

3. How will you attend to your soul care?

Recognize that you have deep needs that should be addressed—physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and instinctual needs. Consider what balance you need to bring to your life and what areas need attention.

Reflect on how you will attend to your needs this year. This might involve:

• Sleep habits: Are you getting enough rest?
• Scheduling: Is your calendar overbooked? Do you need more margin?
• Pace of life: Do you need to slow down?
• Simplicity: Is your life cluttered? Do you need simplicity?
• Security: How are your spending habits affecting your sense of security?
• Leisure: Are you making time for play and relaxation?
• Diet: Are your eating habits healthy?

Answer the question: How will you attend to your soul care? Respond with a statement of intention.

For example: Seek Simplicity

And there you have it, I just created a rule of life for myself:

Pray Constantly

Live Generously

Seek Simplicity

I wonder what rule of life you created for your self.

Final Thought

How does this get lived out in life?

Moses said, “These things… do them… and find life. Realistically this can be lived out in many ways as I go through daily life.  The opportunities are endless depending on how I respond to the challenges, circumstances, and situations of life. Here are a few examples to get you started on this rule of life will help me hold fast to God, make a difference in my world and attend to the care of my soul.

So how might I pray constantly, live generously, and seek simplicity this year?

Pray Constantly

• Instead of worrying, I can turn my attention to prayer.
• When I meet someone with a problem, I can quickly offer prayer.

Live Generously

• I can tip my waitstaff more generously.
• I can sponsor a child or make a contribution to resource a ministry

Seek Simplicity

• I can do some spring cleaning and get rid of the clutter.
• I can buy less stuff and save more money
• I can buy groceries daily and eat quality food and cut out wasteful junk food.

Embracing Your Rule of Life

In the end, a rule of life is not just a set of guidelines, but a compass that directs us towards a fulfilling and harmonious existence. It’s about intentionally shaping our daily rhythms to align with our deepest values and beliefs, nurturing our relationship with God, others, and ourselves.

As you begin to create your own rule of life, remember that it is a dynamic and adaptable framework, evolving as you grow and change. Embrace it with grace and patience, knowing that it represents a lifelong journey rather than a rigid set of rules.

Allow this rule of life to help you hold fast to God, make a meaningful impact in your world, and attend to your personal needs as you seek purpose, joy, and spiritual fulfillment.

May you find wisdom and strength as you live out your unique rule of life.